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rip hostess

i’m already tired of all the “don’t worry about hostess going out of business because my ladycave is spongy and filled with cream” jokes i’ve thought of this morning.

save me, hostess.

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i was pretty jazzed to pull out my “FEDERAL BODY INSPECTOR” t-shirt from spring break 2001 with all this talk of shirtless FBI pictures and ho’s in the news lately. 

anyway, this is him? 

i’ll take the one on the far left to help me through this letdown.

i was pretty jazzed to pull out my “FEDERAL BODY INSPECTOR” t-shirt from spring break 2001 with all this talk of shirtless FBI pictures and ho’s in the news lately.

anyway, this is him?

i’ll take the one on the far left to help me through this letdown.

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X Gon’ … Give Me Some Advice?

Dear Divine Master of the Unknown,

Hi DMX! I saw your life-changing performance on Dr. Drew’s aptly titled show “Lifechangers” this afternoon! Very impressed. Very, very impressed. I went, per your instructions, to your website and noticed you’ll be performing a show in Raleigh this week, which I plan on attending. I’ve followed your career pretty closely since my sophomore year in high school and my how the time flies! I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t noticed you wear a lot of earth-tone neutrals and camouflage. I like it. Is that what I should wear to your show? If I wear camouflage how will you see me? Also, I nearly lost my virginity the second time around to your award-winning single “What These Bitches Want?” and can you please perform that at least once? 

Love Always,

Your Ruff Ryder

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I’m trying.

You don’t even know how bad I want to tumbl.

(Way more so than somersaulting class in elementary school, please trust me.)

Let’s give it another go. 

(Don’t forget to tuck your head!)

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hold on. mitt romney is anti-caffeine and fun, but watches the kardashians?

apparently.

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never too close for comfort.

never too close for comfort.

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birthdays (lit/fig)

you think when baby beyoncette is born, biggie & pac’ll raise from the dead?

yeah, me too.

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tumblrbot asked: ROBOTS OR DINOSAURS?

evolutionarily speaking, dinosaurs. don’t even get me started. 

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"i think the first time i ever saw dad cry was when he gave me that signed picture of ron jeremy."

— ah, my little sister, who is much, much closer to my dad.